So Long, Insecurity

I've recently become a member of BlogFrog, a great online blogging community. While browsing around in there, I hopped into Kate's community and found that she was starting an online bible study on Beth Moore's book, So Long, Insecurity. I'm a huge Beth Moore fan and a long time follower of her blog, Living Proof Ministries. I think she is truly an amazing woman; a huge inspiration in my life. As for the book, I had heard of it, seen the discussions going on within Beth Moore's blogging community but quite honestly didn't think it pertained to me. I have always considered myself a confident woman with good self-esteem, self-worth. But someone who knew her limits - at least that's what I chalked them up to be. Limits. Anyhow, I was simply excited to see a bible study and immediately felt pulled to join in. I rushed out and bought the book the next day and began reading, elated to get involved in a conversation of any kind with other Christian ladies. So what if the book really didn't have much to offer me? I don't have any insecurities. Now, those of you that have a close relationship with God are probably laughing your tails off right this moment. Have I learned nothing about how God works in our lives? Right. I don't have any insecurities. Let the lesson begin....

After reading Chapter One, I immediately recognized that my "limits" are hidden insecurities. Insecurities that I have not faced, but have buried deep and gotten really comfy and cozy with over the years. As Beth Moore would say, we're friends. And Insecurity, you've been a bad friend. I am realizing that I've been afraid to try all sorts of new things for fear of looking like a fool or not being good at it. How many great things have I missed out on because of this? I'm terrified of making bad choices for my kids. I worry about how clean my house is and what it looks like if someone stops by unexpectedly. I worry how my children act out in public and if they act out how people perceive me as a mother. My husband and I worry constantly about financial security and making sure we have ample savings in times of crisis. And most recently, I am recognizing that I have a HUGE worry over what kind of friends I'm allowing into my life. All of these things are insecurities. And they need to go. I'm listening, God. Teach me.

I am thrilled to have found this group of women at BlogFrog and am eager to delve further into this study. I highly recommend the book for anyone experiencing any kind of insecurity and your always welcome to jump into the discussion at Living Proof Ministries or at Blog Frog!

On another note, thanks to all my new followers and for all the beautiful comments you've left!

Happy Friday everyone!

Update

Last week, I blogged about my struggles as a wife, a mother and just trying to fit it all in and find some sort of balance in my life. I told you I was going to pray and hand it over to God. Having done just that, I have learned some amazing things! God is teaching me daily. It's been a very short time but I have realized so much about myself and what truly matters. See what happens when you dust off your bible and get back into His word?

A couple of years ago, I purchased a book of devotions, "Devotions for Women on the Go" by Stephen Arterburn and Pam Farrel. I thought it would help me stay on track and motivate me to read my bible. Each daily devotion is one page along with a few verses from the bible. Simple, right? So I was diligent about my devotions and feeling really good. Then I skipped one day. Then another. And soon another. The book of devotions and my bible ended up in the drawer next to my bed for quite some time. Last week the book of devotions resurfaced with my bible. And wouldn't you know, the devotions seemed to be written just for me over the last week. Coincidence?

One devotion spoke of keeping focus, identify distractions, ask for help. Sometimes, we as women pride ourselves in being able to do so much ourselves that we forget that it's okay to ask for help sometimes. I read something once that said something like pride is tasteless, odorless and colorless; yet, it is the hardest thing to swallow. How true. Women don't like asking for help. But sometimes we need to do just that. Also, learn what can wait. You are to ask yourself, Do I really need to do this now? This is probably my biggest hurdle to jump because I start thinking of all the chores that need to be done, exercise, the kids' needs, etc. and I start to feel overwhelmed. I want it all done right now. Having a clean house might be somewhat important, but it's not the MOST important thing. The Superwoman persona will have to be put to rest.

I learned that God will provide what I need when I need it and not a minute sooner. A good suggested prayer, "Lord, help me not feel the need, until it is a need." Refer to Matthew 6:25-34.

2 Peter 1:3 says, "As we know Jesus better, His divine power gives us everything we need for living a godly life." God created each of us with tools to overcome anything. So I can overcome each of my struggles, if I just rely on Him. The book asks us to consider His gifts:

• A brain to learn new tools
• A heart to feel pain - but also peace, joy, and hope
• An ability to give and receive affection and affirmation
• Power stronger than your own through your relationship with Him

It goes on to say that the choice is ours: let the gifts sit unwrapped and unused - or use His gifts to go on and go forward. Pray: "God, show me what you have already given me that will help me move forward."

Finally, Matthew 9:29 - "Because of your faith, it will happen."

Need I say more?