A Touch of Spirituality

“Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”-Psalm 139:23-24

Thoughts on Thursday

I have recently had the pleasure of getting back in touch with an old friend. I absolutely love catching up with old friends. So to be back in touch with her gave me the warm & fuzzies all over. Though it's been a very long time, we picked right back up where we'd left off as if no time had passed. I didn't realized how much I missed some of my old friends. New friends are great and can make some of the best. But there's really nothing like a friend from the past that knows your history, knows you at your best and your worst and still loves you just the same.

My warm & fuzzies were quickly replaced with feelings of sorrow and sympathy as I learned this old, dear friend was experiencing a divorce. With small children, she is desperately trying to hold it all together for them, for herself and just really needed a friend. I was touched deeply that she thought of me to lean on during this difficult time but sad that there was a need. Having not gone through a divorce myself, I can't empathize with the emotions she is abiding at present. I think I probably told her some things she didn't want to hear. That was arduous, but I didn't feel as if I'd be doing the word "friend" justice if I didn't say these things to her. I believe the words needed to be heard in order to start the healing process for herself as well as for her children. But still, a very difficult task when saying them to someone you care for and love. I know God has a plan for her and shared these same thoughts, but I'm not sure what her relationship is with God at present and definitely don't want to appear a bible thumper. I will pray for her and hope she puts her trust in God as well. While I am thrilled to have my friend back in my life, my heart is heavy. I pray that I, myself, will be a good friend to her. I pray that God will give me the right words.

Sunday is Valentine's Day. The holiday of love. Maybe a good time to reach out to an old friend and reconnect - feel those warm and fuzzies.

To ALL my friends, old and new, I love you deeply and would not be the person I am today without each of you.

BLESSINGS!

Struggling

I'm struggling. Struggling to find balance in my life. Some would say I've got it made - a stay-at-home mom with two great kids, a fantastic husband, the dog, the house, blah blah blah. What's the problem? It is pretty perfect. But lately, I find myself struggling for balance. I want to find the perfect church again that has me thirsting spiritually for more and more and I want to be involved with that church. I want to be in better physical shape and drop about 20 pounds. I want to scrapbook more. I want to experiment more with my camera. I want a clean house. I want, I want, I want. But then I feel a bit on the guilty side when I'm not down in the floor playing my kids or teaching Keegan how to write and read at this stage in his life. These stages are so important and I don't want to miss anything! Soon, their lives will be all about cell phones, computers and their friends and they won't have time for Candy Land and Chutes and Ladders with Mommy anymore. So I want to enjoy every moment I can with them. But I can't seem to find the time to really do any of those things; or should I say do all of these things and do them well. And the eight hours of recommended sleep? How does one juggle all these balls of life? I feel like I'm dropping them all around me.

I know being involved in a church is not as important to God as just being in His word. So I've dusted off my bible and picked up my devotional book thinking I could at least find five minutes in my day to squeeze that into the routine. Even that five minutes has proven to be difficult to come by.

I tried setting an alarm for 5am to get up and exercise before the kids wake up. I've thought that if I did that first and got it out of the way then I would feel better for it and not have to try squeezing it in somewhere else in the day. But the alarm goes off and the thought of getting out of bed and sacrificing my eight hours of much needed sleep makes me ill. Go to bed earlier, you say. So when do I get to scrapbook, watch my favorite shows or simply spend time with my husband after the kids go to bed?

Get the picture? I'm struggling. Struggling to fit it all in somehow. Struggling for that balance.

So I turn to God. I'm praying to find that balance. I want to be a better wife, a better mother, a better Christian woman. Somehow, He will show me the way. So I pray.

Are you struggling?