One Mom's Perfect Imperfections

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One Mom's Perfect Imperfection: My Ball of Fire

One Mom's Perfect Imperfection

One mom's journey through life and her hodgepodge of hobbies.

10 March 2010

My Ball of Fire

Meaning:Little And Fiery

And that's exactly what he is: small and fiery. Little did we know when choosing his name while still in the womb that he would actually live up to his given name. But live up to it, he does and he does it well. Small and fiery indeed.

A precocious child, Keegan was born 4 days prior to his due date, he began walking at 8 1/2 months old and could have the child safety locks figured out in no time if he saw you do it only once. His favorite food is broccoli and he would rather sit down to a bowl of grapes than a cookie any day. He loves to be around people of any kind. He knows no strangers and thinks everyone wants to be his friend. He's fiercely loyal to his family and loves with all his heart.

But this four year old ball of fire can frustrate me to no end. I recognize this as a result of him being 50% my child, meaning he has the stubbornness of a mule and he nor I will budge an inch when it comes to some things. Unfortunately, I have also passed on hay fever to both of my children. And so my story begins....

Monday, Keegan's sister, Presley wakes up with a snotty nose. Clingy & fussy, this day becomes mostly about her and trying to make her happy. She's one.

Tuesday, Keegan follows suit. Sneezing & snotty, Keegan is determined to go about his business. Ain't nothing gonna break his stride. My army of Zyrtec, Tylenol and tissues are ready and waiting.

Tuesday evening, Keegan becomes really congested. He has a knack for developing croup so I begin dosing him with tons of saline and making him blow his nose every time I hear him sniff. He goes to bed complaining because he can't breathe.

11:55pm - Keegan tip toes into our room and wakes me up. Tears streaming, he explains that his nose is stuffy and he can't find "Lamby" (a stuffed lamb he has slept with since he was a baby). Can I sleep in your bed? he asks. I scoop him up and place him next to my husband. I grab a tissue - blow - grab another tissue and dry his tears. And I am off to his room to find "Lamby".

12:05am - I have recovered "Lamby" from the toy pit that is my son's room and I hurry back to bed, blurry eyed only to discover there is no room for me in my king-size bed. Both my husband and my son are spread out all across it. Sigh. I go to Mike's side of the bed, roll him over. Back to my side of the bed, I scoot Keegan towards the middle and I take up my position on the very edge of the bed.

1:30am - I'm awake and I have no idea why. Ugh. Frustrated, I try to turn over only to discover Keegan has turned himself sideways in the bed. I reposition Keegan and find another comfortable spot for myself. Husband now snoring loudly.

2:45am - POW! I've just been smacked in the face by my four year old in his sleep. Starting over again.

4:30am - I hear Presley sneezing in the monitor. I roll over to look in the video monitor to make sure she is okay. She's crying now. Off I go to her room with tissues and saline.

5:00am - I get Presley back to sleep and I am climbing back in my nice warm bed. BAM! I'm kneed in the ribs by Keegan.

6:00am - Husband's alarm goes off. Groan.

6:15am - Husband's alarm going off again after hitting the snooze button. I punch husband, trying to avoid waking Keegan who is sleeping soundly between us. I nestle back down under the covers and try to drift back off to sleep.

6:25am - Presley's talking. She's wide awake. I look into the video monitor to discover her standing up in her crib anxiously awaiting someone to come get her. I give up.

I am grumpy, sleep deprived and short. Snot is coming from every direction and I can't for the life of me figure out how such little bodies produce so much of it. I explain to Keegan that he's going to have to sleep in his own bed tonight. I dose both kids with zyrtec and saline and go for coffee. Strong coffee. And I don't usually drink caffeine but I do today. Now my heart feels like it's literally jumping out of my chest.

12:30pm - Keegan is determined to play outside. I tell him I don't think it a good idea given his allergies are attacking him due to spring arriving and he won't budge. He stomps and whines. Remember that stubbornness I spoke of earlier? Yeah, we're butting heads. I digress. I get him dressed and send him outside while his sister is napping. Maybe I can enjoy some peace and quiet. Maybe I can get something done besides wiping snotty noses. I open the office window so I can hear Keegan outside in our backyard. I walk out of the room to retrieve my camera and walk back into the office to find this:

A flower for you, Mommy.

My heart immediately melts. My cup runneth over. How could I have ever been short with this sweet child? This child who loves me with all his heart unconditionally. So I find myself in a somewhat awkward position - apologizing to my four year old boy for my behavior. Apologizing is not easy in most situations, but I find apologizing to your child can be especially difficult. And it was. Of course, that apology was immediately accepted and a hug placed around my neck topped off with a kiss upon my lips. It's okay, Mommy. My thoughts at this very moment: you can have anything you want, Keegan. Anything.

So what have I learned? I have gained a little wisdom through this experience and a large dose of humility. I am also extremely thankful. Thank you, God, for my children. Thank you, God, for being patient with me and teaching me, guiding me along this journey. For all things, I turn to You.

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  • At March 11, 2010 at 9:31 AM , Blogger Kate said...

    Beautiful post :-)

    I have been so short with my children of late, and I lay awake at night going over all the things I wish I hadn't said or said differently. Thank you Lord that Your mercies are fresh each day!

    I do apologize to my children. I struggled with it at first because should a parent have to do that? YES! It shows our kids that we are human too, and they learn from us.

  • At March 11, 2010 at 3:00 PM , Blogger Amanda said...

    Love your final thoughts... and love the name Keegan! :)

  • At March 11, 2010 at 5:16 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    too too sweet!!!! This is a lesson I think every mother has to learn at least a few times. Being a mom is not an easy thing! I think apologizing is one way to show love to your children and teaches them how to be when they are is a VERY good thing....a hard thing but a GOOD thing!!!

  • At March 11, 2010 at 7:19 PM , Blogger Crayon Wrangler said...

    This post was beautifully and brilliantly written. Thank you for that small glimpse into the challenges and blessings of motherhood.

  • At March 11, 2010 at 8:40 PM , Blogger Cindy said...

    I loved this! What a sweet story, and beautifully told!

    I hope everyone is feeling better very soon at your house.

    Sweet dreams tonight!

  • At April 1, 2010 at 1:20 AM , Blogger mrs.notouching said...

    That was a beautiful post - hope it gets published!

  • At April 1, 2010 at 8:20 AM , Blogger Courtney said...

    Thank you so much! Me too!


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