One Mom's Perfect Imperfections

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One Mom's Perfect Imperfection: For My Sanity....

One Mom's Perfect Imperfection

One mom's journey through life and her hodgepodge of hobbies.

21 February 2010

For My Sanity....

I woke up this morning with a billion thoughts in my head. I've been trying to narrow down my blogging thoughts and hone in on just one subject that might be of some sort of interest to my frequent readers. But even a good, strong cup of coffee has not allowed me to make any sense of the noise in my head. So this post might be a big mumble jumble of nonsense. Feel free to check out now. This is mostly for MY sanity since there seems to be a lack thereof today.

My first thoughts were of my grandmother, God rest her soul. She passed away back in August rather unexpectedly. I was very close to her and not a day goes by that I do not think of her. I am saddened by the thoughts of my kids only remembering her through pictures and stories because they are so young, especially my daughter who was not quite one at the time of her passing. Presley is so much like her. Frequently, I have snapped pictures of my sweet girl with an expression on her little face reminding me of her great-grandmother. I find myself all choked up even now knowing how much alike they are and that they'll never truly know one another. My son, bless his heart, still prays for her. God, please make Mar Mar well. Only three when she died, he doesn't fully grasp the concept of death. He knows Mommy gets sad sometimes and he'll say, you miss Mar Mar, Mommy? Me too. He knows that Mar Mar (short for Martha) went to live with Jesus. But what four year old really understands what that means? Had I known her death would have come when it did, I would have taken my kids to see her more often, spent more time with her, shown her just how much she was loved. Don't we all say that when death affects us personally? We think we have all the time in the world. However, I do find myself very convicted some days that I didn't make more of an effort. I can't help my children's ages and the lack of memory, but my grandmother would have been overjoyed at the opportunity to spend more time with her grandchildren & great grandchildren. Enter conviction. Today, I find myself wanting to pick up the phone and talk with her so badly. But I cannot. And so with a heavy heart, I move on to my next random though.....

I am SO READY for spring. I long for sunshine, for warm weather, for blooming flowers and green grass. The older I get the less tolerant I find myself of the colder months. Living in Memphis, we usually don't have a long winter; however, this winter we've had our share of cold weather including snow and I am ready for it to go. I am looking ahead to our family vacation to the coast - the beach, the ocean, the sand. Better than Calgon.

This weekend I have taken on the task of revamping our office space. It's been feeling very claustrophobic in here for quite sometime. We've managed to cram 2 full-size desks, a kids table & chairs, and art easel, 2 book shelves and all of my scrapbooking paraphernalia into this tiny space. I've been searching for better organization ideas to which you may have seen my previous post. Some women manage to have a WHOLE room to themselves to bring life to their many creations while I have about 1/3 of a room. So I set out to achieve a more girly, organized space of my own, however tiny that space might be. I have enjoyed the last day and hope to wrap it all up today. I think it's coming along nicely, though I may have to tweak a few original ideas to make it a bit more practical. The hubs just might have a heart attack if I don't quit making trips to Hobby Lobby & Michaels. I have close, personal relationships with these stores. They know me well. I hope to post pics of my finished project early in the week.

So with that, I shall leave you - drained, I'm sure, after reading all my craziness. But I thank you for allowing me to clear my head a little so that I may now focus on finishing my weekend project.

Praise God for this beautiful day and allowing me to breathe it all in.

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2 Comments:

  • At February 21, 2010 at 5:29 PM , OpenID timlinzrowland said...

    I am so ready for spring too! All this cold weather and snow has me in a funk! I am sick of coats and boots and socks and gloves and jeans and sweaters...... bring on the shorts and tank tops and flip-flops and sunshine and flowers and green grass and warm days!

     
  • At February 22, 2010 at 8:05 AM , Blogger Mayhem and Moxie said...

    The loss of a loved one, especially someone we are close to, can be so incredibly hard. Know that you are in my thoughts, Courtney. I am glad that you have a blog (and blog friends) as an outlet to express what you are thinking and feeling.

    As far as the direction for your blog, I think you are headed in a GREAT one. Just keep sharing everything about you, and your readers are sure to stick around.

    -Francesca

    PS: So glad that we were able to connect on ParentsConnect. :)

     

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